Where's the baby gone?

Hi, I'm mistadoov (as in Mr Doov) you may know me from other such social networks as Facebook, with my infamous rants, and where I can keep a watchful eye over my friends and family scattered the world over, oh and the grans and aunties get to see pics and video clips of Zac (more on him later) Instagram - where I display far too many shots of the supercars of Knightsbridge and London from my lunchtime hobby of supercar spotting - very sad, I know, but bizarrely i now have over a thousand people following me!?!? Twitter - no idea, a bandwagon I jumped on years ago and promptly fell asleep on and finally Google+ -even less of an idea, I've probably been evicted by now for non-use of services or something.

Anyway enough of all that, I'm here now to blog. I'm not really sure what the point of blogs are,to me they just seem to be online diaries which the nosy of the world can feast on. But i have been requested by several friends to write one for years now but never felt the urge until I started to read Benopause by my mate Benja and the wonderful Knittenden by Chloe Chittenden about the trials, tribulations and joys of being a new parent. 

I myself became a new parent to Zac, with my partner 'the missus' in October last year. Ten months on and I'm still really none the wiser but happier than ever. But what i really want to know is where's the baby gone? 

Now I don't mean for one minute that I'm a useless new father who took baby Zac for a walk, got distracted by a pair of Air Jordan 3's in the window of House of Hoops and proceeded to forget all about Zac until i suddenly woke up in a cold sweat two days later wondering where I had left him, no, what I mean is what happened to that little helpless tiny bundle of puke and poop, sorry JOY, we brought home 10 months ago?!?

Seriously both me and the missus look at each other, then at Zac, then back at each other then at the empty space that Zac has just vacated, panic, grab Zac, plonk him back down in view and one of us will say "I thought he would be a baby for a lot longer than this." Seriously they grow soooo fast and no one tells you this. Well actually every single person who's ever had a baby tells you to "make the most of this time, they don't stay babies for long!" and you just think "yeah your brain has just been frazzled by years of watching your kids grow up" but they these people are right and should be listened too! Unfortunately though when your bundle of wobbly headed static joy is what is technically classed as a 'newborn' you, as a new parent, are just too knackered to fully appreciate it - unless your are Jay-Z and Beyonce and have round the clock childcare, though if Mr Z's new album is anything to go by you can tell he's had more than his fair share of sleepless nights since Blu-Ivy was born. In fact I think the contents of one of baby Blu's napp... sorry diaper (they are American after all) contains more artistic merit than the Jay's new album, but i digress... 

The point is before you know it your little one is crawling, you are getting more sleep (god willing) and suddenly your little one is starting to interact with you, become a cheeky little monkey and much more interesting than the 'creature' that just slept, cried, fed, crapped, stared and puked all over you for the first few months of their lives. I for one love this stage of development and it seems to be a common thing with dads whereas the missus now misses her little bundle of joy that she used to cuddle and is already getting broody for another one (good grief!!) 

Well this has been a somewhat shaky start to the world of blogging but (some of) you asked for it so there it is. I will try and keep you all up to date on my adventures of being a new dad from a blokes point of view, but don't hold your breath. 

Until next time, in the words of Sergeant Phil Esterhaus,(Hill Street Blues - just google it ya lazy sods) 

 "Lets be careful out there" 

Doov

For Chloe and Sooz.